It's that time again

I've been slacking lately and figured updating this thing would be wise. I got into college here. I'm super excited about that. I really want to finish this thing. I've done orientation and I'm all set, except one problem. Money!! This university is really expensive and they have determined I'm out of state domicile. I can't claim in state for a year of being in state and paying state taxes. They gave me a site to check out about military spouse exceptions, but it was just the state regulation, and as us army wives all know, relulations are a pain in the ass to read and understand. My year won't hit until October. So thats a semester of out of state tuition and that sucks up all of my federal loans without paying fees, books, parking etc. I've been looking into ROTC lately. It's on my mind a lot since the cost of college is so high. I spoke with the Army and the Air Force. The Army was a bit disorganized and was off the cuff stuff from a new graduate. I really want to go back and talk to someone else, with the new questions I have. Patrick is all for this ROTC idea. He gets frustrated with me if I say I'm not sure I want to do this. I have a few major doubts. I have a few medical problems, my physical fitness isn't anywhere near ready and military is a huge decision.


Work is going ok. I'm still waiting for that training to finish. They are just giving me bullshit to tide me over. I wish they would just give me a straight answer. My checks are starting to get all messed up. I should be getting $15.85 an hour, but if they don't do specific things every week only get $8.10 for running the store myself. I refuse to do that work for $8.10/hr. I've told them when school starts I'm only doing weekends. I can't stress myself out. I have to stay focused and I want to succeed.

I've been having a lot of personal issues. Going over a lot in my head and trying to figure things out. It's kinda rough. I'm not sure what to do, what are the right decisions, how to fix certain things, what I want to do anymore, things like that. Patrick is trying, not doing so great with the understanding and listening part, but at least he's giving an effort. I've never been good at making decisions. I always go back and forth in my head for days/weeks/months, afraid I'm going to make the wrong decision. When I fianlly make the decisions I'm usually dissapointed with the outcome.

Our 3 year anniversary is Wednesday. I'm excited because this weekend Patrick is taking me away and won't tell me anything about it. It's the first anniversary we are spending together and we actually get to enjoy it. With his schedule lately, and the constant changes, it's hard to coordinate time together. The month of June he had off maybe 4 days, and that included the days he had off for his 2 staff duty days. He doesn't get training holidays, weekends, or normal holidays off, so I'm usually stuck working to pass the time, or sitting at home alone. He works a lot of second shift 1600-0000 but with him running PT 3 days a week he has to leave by 1400 and sgt time on thursdays makes him leave by 1330. Patrick finally got that ingrown toenail taken off. It was digusting and smelly by the time he finally went. I couldn't take smell anymore. They are worried about infection and he has to go back to make sure there is no bone infection after he starts to heal a little more. So I'm thrilled about that. He's hobbling around here lots in pain for now, but I know it'll be worth it in the end.